Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Some truly terrible Diet Drinks

There are some bad drinks out there. Some real bad diet drinks. I have put four that deserve a special award for simple awfulness. This is also in response to my earlier post of the best diet drinks on the market:

I have limited this to soda drinks. There are some bad 'diet' drinks out there like some of the crystal light flavors but this is just for the regular diet drinks. If you have not had your breakfast/lunch/dinner yet, you may want to skip these four drinks because it will undoubtedly cause your stomach to churn just a bit.

Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper: Seriously, did some guy at the soda plant just start thinking: 'OK, I love Diet Dr. Pepper. I also really enjoy cherries. And who is kidding who? Everyone loves Chocolate. Lets bring them all together and we have liquid gold on our hands.' Let me put it this way: I love spaghetti, Twix candy bars and turkey. But I aint going to put those bad boys in a blender and drink it down. Who knows, as I continue to drink this, I may fall in love. But its hard to fall in love with something that makes my lips and teeth red/brown from drinking the stuff as well as the continual urge to stop the dry heaves. It is a limited edition drink meaning that if good taste prevails by the general public, we will never see this drink again.

Diet Coke Plus:: This is a poor attempt at a company to package Diet Coke and try to make it healthy. It adds a few 'healthy' things such as niacin, zinc and magnesium and a few others. This drink has some kind of smooth awkward taste as it tumbles down your throat. I was actually excited to try this...I made it thru a half of a can. Since I had a full 12 pack (11.5 of them left), I tried to pawn it off to family and friends. They either ran for cover to get away from it or they tried it to their disgust. Lets just say that I had 8 of them still left after begging people to take them off my hands. They sat for a few months in my truck, well past their expiration date. I was tempted to try it thinking that it only could have gotten better (hopefully thru fermentation) with age, but I didn't have the guts to try it and they all ended up in the garbage where it is probably contaminating some landfill out west.

Coke Blak: Now, I have a disclaimer right off the bat. I have yet to drink this. This is marketed as combining two of your favorite things--coke and coffee. I can not think of one good reason why this would be a good combination. I can't convince myself to even put down 50 cents for this abomination. But I have to give it kudos for giving it the name of 'Coke Blak' without the 'C'...I am not sure what it means, but it does add to the coolness factor.

Diet Coke with Lemon: For years I have tried to find a drink that tasted like paint thinner. And then diet coke with lemon came along and my needs were met. Fresh nice lemons in a diet coke are fabulous...fake lemon taste in a diet coke is brutally bad. What is shocking is that some of my co-workers actually like the stuff. There are two reasons why they like it: They have zero taste buds, or they have never had a lemon in their life and they think that lemons should taste like that. Whatever reason they have, they are dead wrong. Yuck.

So there you have it...you have been warned.


Amy said...

I remember the day you discovered Diet Coke Plus. I also remember you making me drink one of those nasty tasting drinks and to this day I am trying to forgive you for that.

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when you try to get "creative" with a classic. My message to Coca Cola is: I'll add my own flavor, thank you very much!

Tricia said...

Your blog is one of my favorites! Each time I blog-stalk you guys (oops! am I suppose to admit that?) I laugh! This entry was hilarious and SO true, I had to leave a comment!

eden said...

Hey Sam, I am going to have to disagree on the Diet Dr. Pepper/Chocolate thingy. I liked it! It was a great combination of diet cola and dessert--Dan even liked it. Lucky I married a dentist so I can bleach my teeth after imbibing.