Sunday, June 29, 2008

Brodi--Keeping it real on TV with some kick a&$ service

Brodi and a couple of women from our neighborhood have started up a summer activity called 'Summer of Service.' The idea is for the parents of our area to work with their kids and get them involved in service projects. You can read about it here:

Last week they had a carwash where 2 year olds up to 18 year olds and their parents lined up and washed peoples' cars for free (a donation for worthy causes was accepted...and it led to almost $500). They had a great time and KSL did a news story on it where Brodi was interviewed (her interview was brilliant, obviously) along with a couple of other terrific ladies:

Of special note--if you will notice the terrific cameo appearance of my truck getting washed. I couldn't be more proud of my truck and, yeah, I guess the kids as well.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

10 years of Marriage...10 years of Stats

10 years of marriage as of today. 10 years. Crazy. I do have to say that I am pretty lucky to have married the funniest, sexiest, coolest woman around town. In the past 10 years, A LOT has happened:

The 3 most important things over the past 10 years are:
  • We have stayed married for 10 years. Who woulda thunk it?
  • 2 boys--crazy, funny, lovable little boys.
Other Sam and Brodi randomness
Many, many moves in 5 cities, 4 states and 8 apartments and 2 homes (in order, from start to finish):
  • Salt Lake City (1 apartment, 6 months total)
  • Blackfoot (1 apartment, 10 months total)
  • Salt Lake City (2 apartments, 1.5 years total)
  • London, England (1 apartment, 1 year total)
  • Arlington, Virginia (1 apartment, 1 year total)
  • Denver, Colorado (1 apartment, 3 months total)
  • Arlington, Virginia (2 apartments, 1.5 years)
  • Salt Lake City (2 homes, 3 years)
Almost too many jobs to count
  • Associate Producer at KTVX television
  • Anchor/Weather Bunny/Reporter at NBC affiliate in Idaho
  • Morning News Producer at KTVX television in SLC (youngest in the state, I can brag for my wife, can't I)
  • Waitress at the Spaghetti Factory (I got free drinks out of this when Brodi served my table!)
  • Marketing Guru for IHC
  • Grant Writer for an NGO in Washington, DC
  • Realtor in SLC (15 deals done in two years for her, pretty impressive)
  • Book Writer (1 book finished, 1 in progress)
  • Sports Radio producer at KALL-910 (great at taking calls and calling people)
  • Project Manager for the Department of Energy in Washington DC
  • Strategic Planning for the National Renewable Energy Lab in Denver
  • Operations for Sweetwater International
Vacations and Locations we have visited together
  • Too many states to count (Hawaii, Florida, NY, Texas, Montana, California among them)
  • England
  • Ireland
  • Scotland
  • the Netherlands
  • Denmark
  • Sweden
  • Belgium
  • Italy
  • Spain (mainland and the Canary Islands)
  • Germany
  • Switzerland
  • Canada
  • France
Other random facts of what we have done over the past 10 years (all estimates)
  • Eaten 1,875 brown sugar poptarts
  • Over 9,566 Diet Cokes consumed
  • Over 240,890 miles driven together
  • Over 493 movies watched together
  • Over 8,770 diapers changed
  • Eaten at the Dodo, the Pub, Himalayan Kitchen, the Melting Pot over 436 times
  • Sam has broken his promise of 'I will eat better from now on' 239 times.
  • Over 816 Utah Jazz games have been viewed on the television or in person
  • Over 49,556 laughs we have had together
  • Over 13 pull ups done for Sam in 10 years (not bad, that comes out to 1.3 pull ups a year)
  • Over 698 apologies from Sam for doing something really dumb
  • Over 698 times that Brodi has forgiven Sam
I love you Bro. Happy 10 years and may the next 10 years be even better (like that would even be possible!)

Friday, June 20, 2008

the least helpful sign ever

This sign was posted outside of a wedding reception that we went to tonight. Awesome is one way to describe it.

So let me explain this sign. The company that put up this sign wanted to act like they were helping us ("Please help us") but you quickly realize that is not their motive. Basically what they are saying is--We are going to do absolutely nothing to protect your car or your valuables inside the car. The only protection we are going to give you or even consider giving you is by saying 'take your stuff inside because if you leave it there, it will, no doubt, be stolen from your car, so don't be an idiot.' Thank you for helping us not help you. I feel much safer now...

The sign could have just read 'Please take your valuables with you.' Instead they will protect our valuables simply by us taking our valuables with us inside the building. Huh? Awesome!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Not quite a Tiger or a Phil, but will soon take over the golfing world

We took the kids to minature golf and let me just say, we may just have the next two major golf stars. It was a good thing that we were pretty much the only ones out on the 'course' so that we could create havoc without bothering other patrons. Anyway, some of Carters and Beckham's stirring accomplishments this day were:

  • Carter playing like he was trying to break a world record for finishing 18 holes of minature golf.
  • Beckham being obsessed with throwing his golf balls in any obstacle possible.
  • Carter became so good that he would often hit Beckhams ball, or my ball, or Brodi's ball to help speed us up.

It was an all around impressive display of golf.

Friday, June 13, 2008

A Christmas project in June...and I am definately not an architect/engineer

It is amazing what you can find in your truck if you decide to clean it up. As I went through everything, I found a 'gingerbread house kit' that I bought from Costco, oh, about 7 months ago. So hurray for us. Nothing says June like making a Gingerbread house. I have made these before, but as I think about it, it was usually with the support of my parents when I was a kid or with my very handy wife. It was my turn to show my stuff and show the boys a good time with frosting, candy and gingerbread.

We had a pretty good beginning. I put on all of the sides of the house, we started decorating. Carter and Beckham took turns in putting the candy on the house. We had a winner...our house was looking great.

Then, tragedy struck. One of the pieces of roof slid off on to the table. I was in disbelief. I knew it was only a matter of time. I quickly started to 'frost' up the roof again to stick it all together, but the damage was done. The other roof slid off, the sides fell in. Beckham stood up to get a better look at the destruction while Carter just looked on amazed that his daddy couldn't even build a simple gingerbread house. I need to hone my skills for this coming Christmas.

Here is another picture.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

100 posts! So what do I win?

This is my 100th post. And I get nothing for it. No parade, no presents, no dancing clowns. Whatever. I will continue continuin' on. Thanks for reading.

To give you a rundown, if you have missed it, on what most of our posts deal with:
  • Random meaningless thoughts
  • Diet Drinks and their awesomeness and crappiness
  • Beautiful and inspiring family memories
  • More random meaningless thoughts
  • semi-nude pictures of me (Ok, that never happened, but that had to make you at least morbidly curious--kind of like slowing down to see a car wreck)
Oh man, after looking over that list, I can't imagine any reason why any of you visit this site. I will try and do better.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I could have been a SUPER STAR!

When I was in college, I noticed several ads every weekend for anyone interested in being an extra on a movie or a tv series or an educational video or whatever. I knew that I could act as cheesy or wear as dopey of sunglasses as the guy in the ad on the left. So, I decided to investigate and I found a perfect opportunity to make a name for myself.

The ad was looking for extras for an upcoming movie starring Nicolas Cage (how can you not love his near Oscar worthy work on Face/Off with John Travolta?) and John Cusack (who is actually one of our favorites). I knew that the only reason that I was not yet a star was that I had yet to try out for any kind of role.

I found out the time for tryouts and I headed downtown. I was not yet a real metrosexual so I was a little confused on what I should wear. I could wear one of my polos (they had just recently gone out of style) or one of my plaid shirts (they had just gone out of style about 5 years earlier). To be honest, I have no idea what I chose but I definately know that I did not pick any pegged pants.

I headed downtown to an office building and entered in thru the doors to find two big flyers on the door that I had something like this as a warning:
This movie will be rated 'R' so if you are offended or uncomfortable with any of the following, then please do not apply for a position as an extra:
  • Excessive swearing
  • Use of guns
  • Violence

How awesome is that? I could already picture me running through a building with guns blaring, dropping dirty words on the bad guys as I mowed them down with rapid gunfire. I quickly signed in my name, filled out a form (I found out that if I was chosen, I would earn $42 before taxes, for every day that I worked...whether it was 4 hours or 16 hours, the pay would be the same) and had a polaroid photo taken of me. They told me that if I was chosen, I would get a call within 2 days.

2 days passed and I never received that phone call. Strange...I mean, I can't imagine there being many 22-year old brown-haired white boys in Salt Lake City. Oh well. My career was finished before I could fire off one shot, utter one f-bomb or get in a bar room brawl.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The differences between a dog and a cat

I got this off of website. It shows the differences between cats and dogs. Dogs always seem ready to party and have fun...cats always seem to be plotting world domination.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6:00 am - At last! I Go Pee! My favorite thing!

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe —for now...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

If you all could pray for me next time I own a boat

Carter said our dinner prayer with the family and his cousins. It was extremely spiritual and it went something like this:

"Heavenly Father, thanks for this day. Bless Beckam and peanuts. Bless Daddy in his boat that he does not get in an accident and crash and die. Bless mommy too. Amen."

Beckham has a peanut allergy so he made sure to bless the peanuts and his little brother. I am not sure where I got the boat, but it seems rather ominous that he is already praying that I don't crash and die on it.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Things that we learned in SoCal

During our trip, we had a chance to do some fun things--spent several days at Disneyland, several more days at the beach, a day at Balboa Park and Old Towne in San Diego and some time in the San Juan Mission Capistrano.

We have spent many vacations in the LA/Anaheim/SD region and our latest trip reinforced some ideas that I have had about that area:

Maybe we just got lucky, but they know how to merge on a freeway or a street. In Utah, it is often a show of your manhood or womanhood to REFUSE any kind of easy merge. People stare straight ahead and will not make eye contact with the other car but will do whatever they can to not let you merge into the lane. In Cali, we had no problems and we have rarely ever had problems there.

Bikinis (I am not talking about a regular bikini, I am talking about the extra thin, barely there type of bikinis) are a nice idea in theory. In application, they rarely are. I saw many women on the beaches that had no right to wear those two little pieces of clothing on their bodies.

Speedos on a guy are NEVER a nice idea in theory. In application, the are an even worse idea, even on David Hasselhoff. I hate to say it, but men's bodies are not that attractive. A banana-hammock does nothing to improve on the appearance of a man's body.

In-N-Out hamburger joints rock. Seriously. Tasty hamburgers, 'fresh' tasting fries. Two thumbs fact, I got the whole Johnson-Ashton-Gubler clan to eat there and the reviews were positive. Brodi pulled up the 'secret' menu of In-N-Out and tentatively approached the man to order our hamburgers--she asked 'Does it make sense to say that I want my hamburger 'animal style.' The guy said that it made perfect sense and we had a tasty meal.

10.5 hours in a car with 2 kids is not a fun task. But, I have to hand it to our boys...they were champs in the car. Besides one puking moment of Beckhams (he gets that from me and lets just say, Beckham enjoys a good regular puke every now and then) where he decided that pancakes and sausage do not sit well in stomach that gets carsick easily, the kids were happy tickling each other, watching dvds and playing with their DS Lite game system. The parents on the other hand were more than happy to be done with that trip.

Eastern California is not pretty. No offense to Barstow or Baker, but I can think of close to 15,785 other places that I would rather live. Though Baker has a lot to be proud of--mainly that they have the largest thermometer in the world. If that doesn't blow your mind, I don't know what will.

Most of SouthWest California is very pretty. San Diego, Dana Point, Carlsbad, etc. are all nice locations. Hard to beat 75 degree temps day in and day out.