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An ad for 'Dancing with the Stars' comes on and it asks 'Are you ready?' I can honestly say, 'no I am not ready.'
Now we have different shots of Jason wandering around questioning how he loves two women (I bet the winner will feel fabulous knowing how much he loved the other woman as well). "I am now more confused than ever...how do I make the decision?" I say flip a coin or ask his kid who he wants. He then continues to wander around thinking about it.
Now we have random discussion from the two ladies about how much they love the man they met a month ago. Molly comments on how the relationship started off physical...but now it is so much more. Hey if you can't have a physical tv relationship, well, what can you have.
Emily comes and shows Jason wedding rings. I have a feeling that Jason is going to propose to her. I like Emily, the ring saleswoman. She seems smart. Jason exclaims that tomorrow that he is going to be the happiest guy in the world. No offense to him, but how would anyone even know that! I think he is a liar. I know of some pretty happy people in New Zealand and Buffalo.
We go on to find out that both women are unbelievable. Jason now gazes longingly at the diamond ring. He then decided he knew what he was going to do while gazing at the ring. The ring holds all of the answers.
Jason looks at the camera and cries. I cried with him. Such a tough decision to decide who to marry...I mean, he met this girl over a month ago. Tough decisions. We then get to see some shots of Jason being extra cute with his kid. He has yet to ask his kid who he should pick.
Wild dreams are about to come true. At least, that is what we are told...this time from Molly or was it Melissa.
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Jason cries. Jason cries some more. I think Jason is still crying. OK, he's done now. Oh wait, no he is not. He is still crying. Leaning over the fence now crying. Quick cutaway to Molly who has tears in her eyes. Back to Jason who is partying now, oh wait, no, he is still crying. And he is still crying. Molly just called him a dummy. And back to Jason crying. Jason now contemplates being a polygamist.
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Holy crap, the after rose studio is empty! This is going to be dramatic. Uh oh, Jason looks very serious. Very serious. I think we will see tears. This is gonna be awesome! Jason is crying. Jason informs that he has "lived it." I can't argue with that. "We are not right for each other." Say whaaaaattttt? You were together for several weeks, how did this happen? He informs us that the chemistry went into the crapper. MOLLY. Molly fills his thoughts. To be honest, Molly is filling mine and Brodi's thoughts. Jason lost a piece of himself (I think in the ocean or on the countryside) the minute he let Molly go.
We now are hoping Molly found someone else. How awesome would it be if Molly and Deanna hooked up? We are now informed that Jason is a good guy. Jason has informed us that Melissa can take it out on him. Anyone have a butcher's knife? Or a chinese star? Melissa is going to go baaallllisssssttttiiiiccccc. Awkward pauses abound, though Melissa's choice of skimpy leather miniskirt is an interesting one. Jason exclaims how he wanted to give his life and everything else but now, no longer. Melissa looks like she is plotting his death. Jason tells her the line that is never used by someone breaking up someone else, "This isn't about you, its about me." Melissa is irritated. Jason is speechless. "I still have feelings for Molly." Melissa aint looking no pleased right now. And now the line of the night "You are such a bastard." Oh no, you did not just say that Melissa! You go girl. "I am so mad at you." Darn right Melissa.
Jason is crying again. Shocking. Again. So, how awesome would it be for Molly to just say 'Uh, no thanks but best to you.' Molly is coming out for a talk without Jason. Now we get a video montage of Molly and Jason. And she re-lives being let go. And we see Jason cry in the video. Now Molly goes on and admits that she still really digs Jason. And here comes Jason, looking as metrosexy as ever.
Jason is nervous. Molly is now grilling Jason. Jason has no good answers. Host steps in and saves Jason. Jason exclaims, 'My head and my gut have not let go." Molly looks as confused as anyone that I has ever seen. She is lost. Jason is making his play and I don't think Molly has a clue what is going on. Jason asks her for another shot. Molly laughs and looks around like she is expecting a candid camera. "I am still in love with Molly." Molly hasn't spoken in about 5 minutes. Awkward pause as Molly still has not a clue what to say.
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I am not ashamed that tears flowed freely as I saw true love rear its beautiful head. Jason seems like quite a catch...not good with decisions and a cryer. How can anyone beat that? I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Bachelor 18 or whatever number they are on now. It is going to be even more historic-er.
7 comments:
oh ....that was FFFUUUNNNYYY!!!!! i HAD TO watch the finale too sam and i have to admit, i have never laughed so hard in my life!
lol!
lol!
lol!
Sam you should get paid by ABC for writing this piece.
That was awesome. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard! We should do that again sometime.
that might have been one of the best posts you've ever done. truly historic post.
Definitely the best commentary of the bachelor EVER!
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